or:
I’m All Right Jack; How Are You?
After 21 December 2012 came and went and the world was still here, you breathed a sigh-of-relief, eh? Put all your fear eggs in a Mayan Basket, huh? And thanked your lucky illegal, leaf-blowing gardener the Earth didn’t crumble into dust on the end day of the End Of Days?
Sucker.
The real thing is coming in less than one hundred days, Clyde…
From The London Daily Mail, Ellie ‘Brunhilde’ Zolfagharifard reporting, we learn:
If Vikings were here today, the sounding of a distinctive horn in York would have created chaos.
The ancient instrument, blown last night [14 November], signalled exactly 100 days until the end of the world, according to Norse mythology.
Legend has it that the Norse God, Heimdallr, would blow the mythical Gjallerhorn to warn of the Viking apocalypse, also known as ‘Ragnarok’.
…
Norse mythology experts have calculated that Vikings believed this will take place on February 22, 2014.
On this day, the god Odin will be killed by the wolf Fenrir and the other ‘creator’ gods.
Sounds very…oh, I don’t know…uh…’Wagnerian’.
But there’s Maude, er, more:
There will be huge earthquakes, the sea will rear up and the soil and the sky will be stained with poison.
The sound of the horn is supposed to call the sons of Odin to the battlefield, where Odin will ultimately be killed.
After his death, the Earth was foretold to sink into the sea, paving the way for a new utopian world with endless supplies.
Who knew The Vikings™ were Leftists?
More:
The legend states that ‘the first to notice shall be man, brother will fight brother and all the boundaries that exist shall crumble.’
I’m not worried, however:
‘Following a study published in 2010 that bearded men are more trustworthy than those without, we’re also looking for fantastic displays of facial hair, so that we can identify those with the potential to take us into the brave new world that is foretold to follow Ragnarok,’ said Danielle Daglan director of the JORVIK Viking Festival.
Follows me…[ladies first]…
